Advice from my Mother-in-Law
While commenting on another blogger's post today, I pulled out my journal from my lingerie party that each guest wrote their "secrets to a happy marriage" in. It makes for some good reading, let me tell ya' :)
I pulled it out though, to remember the advice my mother-in-law gave me. These were her exact words: "Remember, marriage is not a 50-50% relationship. It is 100-100% all the time. Also, your job is 24/7 and you don't get a vacation. However, if you follow this advice, you won't need a vacation."
I kind of interpret this advice to mean that if you make your marriage your number one priority, which to me means your spouse being your best friend, thinking of each other in all decisions you make, etc...then you won't really feel the need to take a break, or disengage yourself from your spouse. Hopefully. I don't know. We're still fairly new to this whole marriage thing and I like to hope that we're learning valuable lessons with each disagreement/issue we have.
I can tell you though, I know there are times I don't give 100%, and thankfully, during those times my husband seems to sort-of "make-up" for my lack of effort. I guess the key then is to make sure if one partner falls behind a little, the other takes up the slack. I love my husband for being so willing to do that, when it seems I have withdrawn inside myself. His patience makes our marriage stronger. Now, if I can only remember my mother-in-law's advice during those times I am feeling so despondent, maybe I can be the one to take up the slack sometimes!
It's all about Give and Take baby, Give and Take!
I pulled it out though, to remember the advice my mother-in-law gave me. These were her exact words: "Remember, marriage is not a 50-50% relationship. It is 100-100% all the time. Also, your job is 24/7 and you don't get a vacation. However, if you follow this advice, you won't need a vacation."
I kind of interpret this advice to mean that if you make your marriage your number one priority, which to me means your spouse being your best friend, thinking of each other in all decisions you make, etc...then you won't really feel the need to take a break, or disengage yourself from your spouse. Hopefully. I don't know. We're still fairly new to this whole marriage thing and I like to hope that we're learning valuable lessons with each disagreement/issue we have.
I can tell you though, I know there are times I don't give 100%, and thankfully, during those times my husband seems to sort-of "make-up" for my lack of effort. I guess the key then is to make sure if one partner falls behind a little, the other takes up the slack. I love my husband for being so willing to do that, when it seems I have withdrawn inside myself. His patience makes our marriage stronger. Now, if I can only remember my mother-in-law's advice during those times I am feeling so despondent, maybe I can be the one to take up the slack sometimes!
It's all about Give and Take baby, Give and Take!
posted by Shan | 5:19 PM
1 Comments:
Exactly. I've thought about the very same things many times. It's only human to be somewhat selfish. You have to make it a habit to pull back and take a look at what you're doing every now and again.
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